Some cats enjoy being hugged and cuddled, but some don’t. Being restrained mimics a predator’s grip and the inability to escape can cause many cats stress. Cats like being in control of their bodies and their environments and being picked up or hugged takes away their bodily autonomy. They can view being hugged as a threat.
Some cats may follow you around, greet you at the door, or sit nearby, but not want to sit in your lap or be picked up. And that’s ok! Luckily, there are plenty of ways to show your cat you love and cherish them while respecting their boundaries.
Spend Quality Time Together
Cats love the company of their humans. Whether you’re playing with toys or hanging out together watching TV, make sure to actively engage with your cat every day and not just coexist. They might not want to cuddle or sit on your lap, but they enjoy your company and will want some of your attention.
Pet Your Cat
While many cats don’t like being picked up, most cats do enjoy being pet, especially on the cheeks, under the chin, and near the base of the tail. If your cat meows, purrs, makes biscuits, raises their butt in the air, rubs their face against you, or rolls over and exposes their belly, you can be sure they are really enjoying being pet.
Play With Your Cat
Actively play with your cat. Tire them out with some interactive playtime. Ideally right before a meal so they can feel like they are hunting, grab a wand toy and really get your cat to exercise, run, and pounce. Chasing a wand toy encourages them to use their natural instincts to stalk, pounce on, and catch their food.
Provide Enrichment
Make sure your cat has plenty of things to do to keep them busy, especially when you’re asleep or at work. Happy cats need mental and physical stimulation. Cat TV, a big window to look out of, an exercise wheel, a multi-level cat tree, or a puzzle toy that disperses treats are all great ways to keep your cat occupied and feeling engaged with the world around them.
Groom Your Cat
Most cats enjoy being brushed and it provides the perfect opportunity to pet your cat and calm them down. While being groomed, they may cozy up to you, make biscuits, and nuzzle you. It is the perfect bonding experience.
Offer Tasty Treats
You can bond with your cat by offering some tasty treats. Treats are a great way to reward good behavior. You can use them to encourage shy cats to approach you too. They will associate good things with you - FOOD - and will want to be around you more and learn to trust you.
Follow a Routine
Cats love routines. They appreciate consistency and knowing what to expect. Most cats don’t like change (owners going on vacation, moving to a new house, or adopting another pet) and become easily stressed - and can even become sick - when things are different. Establish a routine with your cat and try to feed them and play with them around the same times every day. They will be more comfortable with predictable schedules since they are creatures of habit. Knowing what to expect and when helps them feel safe.
Give Them Their Space
Let your cat come to you on their own terms, especially if you’ve just adopted them. Don’t try to force your cat to spend time with you or cuddle with you if they are not in the mood. Provide them cubbies and boxes for them to retreat into when they feel like being alone and respect their need to be away from you at times. Respecting their boundaries is very important, especially when starting a new relationship with a cat. You don’t want to make them afraid of you.
While some cats enjoy being hugged and cuddled, some don’t. Cats have different ways of showing you their love. Whether they follow you around, greet you when you come home, or sleep at your feet, they are showing you their love the best way they know how. And there are plenty of ways for you to show your cat you love them while still respecting their boundaries.
Love, Nala
