Do you have a shy cat who runs from strangers, spends most of their time hiding, or mostly comes out at night? If you want to help them to feel less scared, there are many things you can do. Helping a skittish cat gain confidence requires patience, routine, and a safe, stress-free environment.
Start them out in a small room, offer high-value treats to create positive associations, and let them approach you on their own terms and in their own time. Once they trust you and feel comfortable in their space, they will start to gain confidence and let their true personality shine.
The best way to prevent fears and phobias in the first place is through socialization. This is why it’s so important for young kittens to experience many different people, situations, and other kittens. Being socialized as a kitten helps cats throughout their entire lives. Kittens have an easier time than adult cats adapting to new people, places, and things. However, it is still possible for a shy adult to conquer their fears and become a more confident cat.
If you can figure out what is triggering your cat - another animal, a noise, a person - and remove or lessen that trigger, your cat may start feeling safer and acting more confidently really quickly. But some triggers cannot be removed and some cats don’t have a specific trigger - some cats are just very shy or anxious in general and that’s ok! There are still plenty of things you can do to lower their stress levels.
Body Language and Behavior
You can understand how your cat is feeling by observing their body language and behavior. You want to see a relaxed cat with their ears up, whiskers out, eyes open, and tail up. Confident cats aren’t afraid to take up space. Scared cats tend to condense their bodies and appear smaller and less of a threat.
Signs Your Cat is Stressed or Afraid
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Crouching low to the ground
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Freezing in place
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Whiskers twitching or angled back toward the face
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Wide eyes with large pupils
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Stiff tail pointed up and vibrating
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Ears flattened back and close to their head, “airplane ears”
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Staring
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Running away
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Hiding
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Arching their back and puffing up their fur like a Halloween cat
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Tucking their tail underneath them
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Hissing
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Spitting
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Yowling
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Swatting
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Biting
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Peeing or pooping outside their litter box
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Spraying
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Loss of appetite
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Overgrooming
It’s important to listen to your cat's signals and respect their boundaries. This will help keep you both safe and prevent negative interactions and setbacks.
Steps to Help a Skittish Cat
Start them out in a Safe Room
Limit the cat to one quiet room with food, fresh water, their litter box, a scratch post, and plenty of cozy hiding spots like a cat tree or boxes with blankets to help them feel secure. You can also play calming classical music on low volume to set them at ease.
Too much space at once can be overwhelming for a shy cat. Cats like to feel in control and they feel safe and less vulnerable in smaller spaces.
Establish a Routine
Cats love routine. Predictability keeps them less stressed. Feed them at the same time each day. They will feel safer knowing when you and the food are coming and they will associate you with a good thing - food.
Get them Used to your Presence
Spend time in the room with them daily without forcing any interaction. Sit on the floor, read, work, or play on your phone and allow your cat to get used to your presence without any direct contact.
Use High-Value Treats
Place treats near the cat, gradually luring them out of their safe space as they feel more comfortable with your presence. This may take days, weeks, or months, but they will begin to associate you with good things. As they learn to trust you, you can begin to pet them while they are eating their treats. This will help them create a positive association with human touch.
Avoid Intense Interaction
Do not look directly at them or stand over them. Turn your body sideways, speak softly, and don’t stare.
Play Together
Use wand toys to encourage your cat to play. The thrill of the hunt can be more powerful than their fear. Wand toys are great because you can play together but still be far enough away from them that they are less scared.
Offer Plenty of Enrichment
- Provide them some enrichment to keep their mind engaged. Catnip or cat grass, treat puzzles, or snuffle mats with hidden treats inside can be very enticing and help them come out of their shells.
- A window perch with a good view of the world outside or “Cat TV” with intriguing sights and sounds can keep them busy and relieve stress.
Use Calming Aids
- Consider using calming pheromone sprays or diffusers. They release pheromones that help cats relax.
- Respect Their Space
- Never force a cat out of hiding, reach into their hiding spot, or grab them. This will only scare them more. They will come out when they are ready to interact.
- Similarly, if they are busy - eating, sleeping, or playing by themselves - leave them alone. Don’t interrupt them when they are occupied.
Reward Them
When your cat is exposed to new people, animals, or experiences, praise and reward them with treats, playtime, or affection. This will help them associate new sights, sounds, and situations with good things. Creating positive associations will help them learn to better adapt to unfamiliar situations now and in the future.
- What to Avoid
- Sudden movements
- Loud noises
- Picking them up
- Forcing them out of their hiding spot
- Punishing them - this will only make them create a negative association with you
With a little time, patience, and a whole lot of love, you can help your shy and skittish cat feel safer, happier, and more confident than ever. Let them approach you when they’re ready, reward them for stepping out of their comfort zone, offer them plenty of playtime and enrichment, and spoil them with treats, toys, and affection. Helping a cat gain confidence, learn to trust, and let their true personality shine through is a wonderful, rewarding experience that will help you create an amazing, one-of-a-kind connection.
Love, Nala
